We don't have any wells in New York City, and all the babies are far too heavily monitored by their Park Slope lesbian mommies to go falling down wells anyway. So, lacking wayward babies and deep, unsupervised holes, the New York media has turned to wandering kitties and brick walls. Somewhere in this city, the poor suffer through a life of deprivation and neglect, women are raped, and corruption and graft run rampant. But really, who gives a shit? There's a kitty trapped in a wall here, people! Fellow NYC residents, here's a thought: You know how your city and state tax return kicks your ass every April? This is where your money goes. There isn't a working drinking fountain anywhere within city limits, but no kitty shall perish in a wall in this fine municipality!
**UPDATE** Molly has been rescued after 14 days. New Yorkers haven't come together to face adversity like this since 9/11.
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